Friday, February 17, 2012

Usah Lepaskan....

Posted by Lil' Sue at 2/17/2012 01:02:00 AM
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My fave rendition from 'Taufik Batisah'.... This song was the song that I listened over and over again...reminding me about a story....about me and HIM. When he told me that he only thought me as a good friend...that was back in 2006.. That time I really wish that he hold on to me and made me stay but he didn't. I was extremely SAD. The next thing that I remembered was sending him abroad for his studies and he was in relationship with someone else. Of course I pictured a young, fine, well mannered young lady with long  hijab that perfectly suit him in every way. It was no one at fault. I tried to move on, but he was there like a SHADOW.... The problem was I will always see him in every person I met, I think that is a problem to me....

At times...I have been thinking really hard. Isn't it more easy if I just let him go? He might be too perfect to be true for me... Why I like him so much? Maybe bcoz the fact that when I am with him...I feel safe and I feel that he can lead me to be better person...that is my original expectation but now I doubt it. I realized that guys are all same. Same desire and same needs... I am deeply confused. Why it is so difficult for me to find a guy that wont give up on me? someone that will be there ...for better or worst??Not just someone being 'teman tapi mesra'... I am tired of the rabbit game...running around the bush.....without any ending.....

By the way, some people might noticed there are some changes on the way I dress...I am not saying that I did a right thing BUT...rather than being so judgmental....have you bothered to understand my situation and asked WHY???? I bet 99% of them will create their own assumptions. I am perfectly aware what I am doing. Give me a break... please give me some times for me to be not so nice.... I feel that I had been too nice..too amiable...for years.... Result?? People just took advantage on me....

Ya Allah.. If I meant to be with this person, please make it easier for me...but if not, please remove him from my heart forever.. Amin...

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