I have to
be in ZEN mood and try my very best to remain in my sanity. I wrote about him
being some kind of GLUE to this group which was overtaken by event because
he is like a social butterfly, who remain in that group when it has some
benefits and LEAVE when he found another 'super fun' peoples around. So, did I
say a GLUE? No... He is just like a sloytape which is easily being replaced by
something else. A GLUE is a big deal. Because glue sticks around for quite
long... Not easily torn by some kind of turbulence. Same goes with friendship.
I value people so much and I appreciate 'Real Friends' which is difficult to
get in your lifetime. Well, unfortunately, he is a 'tape' kind of guy, who will
come and go as he wish.
It was
entirely NOT useless knowing this guy because I learn more about handling
peoples. He used to be a very sweet kind of person but I guess when he get
comfortable and started to show his true colours, everything was just an
illusion. Believe me, sometimes it is confusing because his behaviour changed
in sudden and his mood changed like a wind. You never knew which one you
may encounter. Do not be fooled by his looks. This fellow has a lot of charm
while you see him sitting quietly doing his work, especially when he tried
desperately to look nerd with his glasses. Well... he really has sight problems,
but sometimes he tried to vary his looks by wearing his glasses instead of
wearing contact lenses. He chose to appear ‘grayish’ on his first day at our
Labuan FSA’s office. Wilfred seemed to notice him and say “I saw handsome boy
downstair” I was quite excited to see new face in our office but... when I saw
him, my first thought was .... pretty boy???? I think I should keep the thought
to myself..hahahhaha... My imaginations run wild because I just watched a
telemovie related to 'Sotong dude' last night. I still remember Nana and I were just talking about it. ..about how funny the story was. We were literally mimicking the 'Sheila Rosly' lines for days and there was a newbie just came.... You guys wanna know the question that I
received from that newbie was.....
“Do you have a boyfriend? How does he look like?"
Is he handsome?”
That was
bit awkward receiving such a DIRECT question from a stranger but I did try to
give him a sensible answer. I was wondering why he has guts to ask that type of
questions. That was tentatively happened four years back?? I lost the track of
time. Thinking about it now, made me realize he could ask ridiculous questions
more than I could imagine. When he was back to office as a permanent employee,
he become more BLUNT and maybe heartless?? The frequent questions were:
“So..when you are getting married?”
“Do you have any boyfriend?”
“I am very concern because you are getting older”
“You are old. Accept it.”
If he is
not part of my daily working cycle, I would opt to dismiss every single detail
about him from my mind. I cannot help but feeling HURT for his ignorance about
my feelings. I sometimes wonder what I have possibly done to him for me to
deserve this kind of treatment. I was seriously damaged with my previous
relationship and I am really in the process of mending and protecting my heart
from any HURT elements. But he hurt me in some ways that I cannot describe and
I cannot talk about it openly. It is not because I do not want to move on, I
know very well that I have wasted so many years for a JERK like my ex. Did I
mentioned that this fella has same name like my ex? As a close friend of mine,
all I want is an understanding and giving me frequent doses of harsh words does
not work well on me. I will always be hurt by them and I really hate it. He
even made me CRIED like a fool and trust me I really has the urge to slap him.
I seldom retaliate or react to his stupid remarks but I think I have to start
to reply when I feel he is making unnecessary remarks about me. Since I am
popularly known as a single girl, all single male in my office will be seen as
a potential candidate. Thanks to all my nosey friends for being very concern
about my status. I still remember when he said these lines when some peoples
are teasing about us being an item.
“Yes, she looks younger than her age but numbers won’t go
backwards, right?”
What the
f#$!??? He literally stabbed my heart with a BIG FAT knife. When did I said
that I was even considering him??? Was it so fun of him to joke about my status
of singlehood??? At that point of time trust me, I really HATE this guy.
Well....to say that I really hate him as person was definitely wrong
terminology. I hate the words that he said. I still hate it. I was ANGRY. But I
think I did not hate him as a person. Back then, I was the type of person who
has a very very SOFT heart just like TOFU. Now with all his meanie words and
harsh remarks. I was toughen up a bit. It was weird but it was true. Now I can
defend myself with any type of mean words in a calm way.
I forgot
to mention on his obsession about pigs. He thought the species of pig is
extremely cute. It is very weird for a guy to like a creature like pig but he
likes it. Another note, his nagging skills are 'Top Notch'... Feel free to get
it sometimes when you are with him. You can never nag at him but he will do it
as he please.
Another
weird thing is.. apart from his ridiculous way of conveying things to me,
surprisingly he appreciate the same genre of music that I like...which I found
so amusing. Not all guys can actually understand the reason why I like
classical...why I love the soulful voice of singers like Il Divo, Josh Groban,
Andrea Bocelli, Sarah Brightman, Ramin Karimloo and the list goes on. He also
like Kpop songs.... which totally seemed weird in the beginning.... which made
me want to tolerate his nagging and annoying remarks. Sometimes I wish I can be
as BLUNT and be heartless like him. But I can't because it is not ME.
In
November 2015, we went for a vacation in Busan and Seoul. It would be great if
I went to South Korea with someone that I get along very well. Well, it
was quite a journey I must say. He nagged and I listened. Anyway, we had fun
watching 'The Nanny'. We met my Korean friend, Hugh. Hugh is CUTE and very
thoughtful guy. No no no...the right word is 'GENTLEMAN' which is very lacking
in most Malaysian man. I personally wish him the best and hope to see him in my
next trip to Seoul.
BUT
Apart
from all the above, I do notice that he cares a lot for his family which is
extremely good for him. I cannot say much about that. Otherwise, I could ended
up making another story titled ' He and his granny' or ' Mommy's boy forever'.
For the record, I have nothing against a guy being a mommy's boy. It is a good
thing. I just hate a guy who do not play their role well while handling a mom
and his girl.
Now is
finally in 2016, if anyone just read about this story and wonder where is he
right now. He is around, breathing in the same working space with me. I wish him well. But
as I mentioned, the social butterfly only hanging around where all the
honeypots stay. Refer to para 1, 'Tape' kind of guy. Remember, he is not a
GLUE.
(I am
preparing for another monster story. Work in progress. Thanks to the anonymous
commentator, you did inspired me to write a bit more than I used to)
Just for info, the monster number one has gone to far faraway land. Now, Nizam and his family will have a new life in BAHRAIN. May god ease their journey and everything goes well. All the best my friend.
XOXO